GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
These are excerpts from generosity memories of four friends of mine.
By Kirsten Millet
I have been blessed in my life with a wonderful family, supportive friends and excellent teachers from kindergarten to college. How do I pick a single generous act from one of my parents, or my teachers? There were so many that did so much, as they all helped to shape my life ...
Scott and his wife, Cindy, are part of our lives now. They have welcomed with open arms Bay High School track and everything this new job has brought ..... Well beyond the coaching he has brought to our athletes, Scott has filled a place in my life that I didn't realize I needed. He did not have to do any of this for me...I believe Scott was placed in my life for a reason, asking nothing in return.
By Habib Hosseiny
After about 16 years of employment as a public school teacher of the English language in Iran, I decided to go to graduate school for a Master's degree... It was August 18, 1978, our son's 4th birthday, when we arrived in Brattleboro, Vermont...
Gradually the [Iranian] Revolution happened. Our relatives and friends advised us to try to stay because it was not safe to go back. Many of my Bahai'i friends were jailed or executed.... Then it was right before Christmas and New Year holidays that the bursar asked me to see her. She gave me a $1,000 check and said it was mine ... I will never forget the generosity of whoever gave that money to me and my family. My prayers are always with that person.
By Steve Cardamone
It was probably 1985 and the venue was the Rosemont Arena, presently Allstate Arena...My Mom and Dad decided to make a dream come true - the 12 year-old me was going to see my hero, Hulk Hogan, wrestle live....
I ordered three Cokes and some nachos ... I got the dull thud of "That's $12 dollars" ... I froze and looked down hoping that [my] $10 bill had mutiplied. No Mom or Dad. Before I could look at my hand again the man directly behind me reached over my right shoulder, threw down two bucks, and said "have a great time tonight!" ... He deserved to see the tears welling up in my eyes and feel my thank you, more for helping me save face than the $2.
By Pat Kahnert
The other day I was digging through some old files and found a letter that was sent to me when I was eight ... The note inside and an incredible attachment were the initial inspiration for my [communications] career, and a continuing inspiration in my life ...
I opened a brown envelope with a team photograph of the 1960-61 Montreal Canadiens, another Stanley Cup year! It was autographed in ballpoint pen by each of the players. My heart raced. There was assistant captain Dickie Moore in the front row, far left ...
Every time I pass it I smile and my eyes find my friend [Frank Selke, Jr], on the far right in the second row from the top. His autograph at the bottom of each of his letters to me is a lifetime treasure of mine.
Friday, October 19, 2012
ENDPIECE - Stephen's Gratitude
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
Just as a tuning fork has two tynes, the virtue that resonates the most-wonderfully with GENROZT is gratitude.
Over 200 names appear in previous pages and I am grateful to each, from the students of Our Lady of Destiny to my four friends of chapter 11; from Kate Jacobs of the archives in Stratford to railroader Ralph Eisenbrandt; from Lt. Col. Steven Simon to USouthern Mississippi's Bob Pierce; from Alice Hayes to Dave Hilliard.
A singular subest of those are my seven brothers (try naming and numbering them, eh), my four sons, and my wife, Sheila Cawley. A glorious group are, of course, the five dozen who are no longer with us on this side of reality, but remain a vibrant part of it.
I want to especially celebrate folks whose names don't appear but whose participation was critical to my writing ... people like Gina Rothweiler and Kathleen Sison, parent-leaders who encouraged me to ask the Board to let our students participate. And the wonderful faculty members who helped students capture their memories, and school secretary, Phyllis Rotondo, who spearheaded the gathering, and the parents who signed off on their child's memory being included .... Salut!
Finally, I sing the praises of Mony Bunni and Peter M.M. Kahnert, the former my artist/designer, the latter my First Reader. It was son #2 Peter who, on the back porch last July, carefully cajoled me to do better. If I have, Peter called it.
Stephen M. Kahnert
October 2012
Just as a tuning fork has two tynes, the virtue that resonates the most-wonderfully with GENROZT is gratitude.
Over 200 names appear in previous pages and I am grateful to each, from the students of Our Lady of Destiny to my four friends of chapter 11; from Kate Jacobs of the archives in Stratford to railroader Ralph Eisenbrandt; from Lt. Col. Steven Simon to USouthern Mississippi's Bob Pierce; from Alice Hayes to Dave Hilliard.
A singular subest of those are my seven brothers (try naming and numbering them, eh), my four sons, and my wife, Sheila Cawley. A glorious group are, of course, the five dozen who are no longer with us on this side of reality, but remain a vibrant part of it.
I want to especially celebrate folks whose names don't appear but whose participation was critical to my writing ... people like Gina Rothweiler and Kathleen Sison, parent-leaders who encouraged me to ask the Board to let our students participate. And the wonderful faculty members who helped students capture their memories, and school secretary, Phyllis Rotondo, who spearheaded the gathering, and the parents who signed off on their child's memory being included .... Salut!
Finally, I sing the praises of Mony Bunni and Peter M.M. Kahnert, the former my artist/designer, the latter my First Reader. It was son #2 Peter who, on the back porch last July, carefully cajoled me to do better. If I have, Peter called it.
Stephen M. Kahnert
October 2012
Generosity memories by Our Lady of Destiny students
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
These are excerpts of a few of the 29 student generosity memories throught my book.
My favorite generosity memory would have to be during my Dad's heart attack. It was the Stanley Cup games, and the Chicago Blackhawks were in it and winning. In the newspaper there would be a section with a player from the Hawks in it. About every week somebody would give it to me. They didn't have to give it to me but they did ... I still have all the posters hanging up on my wall...
Madeline B. 8th grade
I think my brother John has a big heart because he plays catch with me. He gives me cool pens. He wrestles with me. He helps me with my homework. He plays football with me. He loves me. He watches the kids at recess. He gives me my shots. He watches us when Mom and Dad are not home. He plays with us in the pool in the summer. He plays in the snow in the winter.
Ryan D. 1st grade
My soccer coach helped me learn how to dribble the ball, and dribble around the other player, and also how to keep it away. It was very very generous of my coach to teach me all of the stuff that you do in soccer. My coach also taught me how to be a goalie and how to kick the ball really really hard. Mia M. 3rd grade
Generosity doesn't have to be a huge thing. [A student's Dad] is one of the most generous people I know. Every morning in the hall he says "Hello, what a nice day it is" or "How are you?" And when I won a writing contest he says "Congratulations, Bridget!" It is the little things that count.
Bridget D. 7th grade
My grandparents own a restaurant. There is this homeless lady that always comes. She has very little money so my grandparents charge her only a dollar and sometimes give her the food for free! .... not everyone has homes or families;we need to help them because they are like us. They suffer every day.
Sophia S. 6th grade
These are excerpts of a few of the 29 student generosity memories throught my book.
My favorite generosity memory would have to be during my Dad's heart attack. It was the Stanley Cup games, and the Chicago Blackhawks were in it and winning. In the newspaper there would be a section with a player from the Hawks in it. About every week somebody would give it to me. They didn't have to give it to me but they did ... I still have all the posters hanging up on my wall...
Madeline B. 8th grade
I think my brother John has a big heart because he plays catch with me. He gives me cool pens. He wrestles with me. He helps me with my homework. He plays football with me. He loves me. He watches the kids at recess. He gives me my shots. He watches us when Mom and Dad are not home. He plays with us in the pool in the summer. He plays in the snow in the winter.
Ryan D. 1st grade
My soccer coach helped me learn how to dribble the ball, and dribble around the other player, and also how to keep it away. It was very very generous of my coach to teach me all of the stuff that you do in soccer. My coach also taught me how to be a goalie and how to kick the ball really really hard. Mia M. 3rd grade
Generosity doesn't have to be a huge thing. [A student's Dad] is one of the most generous people I know. Every morning in the hall he says "Hello, what a nice day it is" or "How are you?" And when I won a writing contest he says "Congratulations, Bridget!" It is the little things that count.
Bridget D. 7th grade
My grandparents own a restaurant. There is this homeless lady that always comes. She has very little money so my grandparents charge her only a dollar and sometimes give her the food for free! .... not everyone has homes or families;we need to help them because they are like us. They suffer every day.
Sophia S. 6th grade
Chapter 10 - Mary Jane DeShon & Izzy Idonije, Heroes
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
Sometimes I replay my Highlights of Stephen's Life that I store in my long term memory. You probably do this too, with your version of the little trophy you got as the highest goal scorer when you were 10; that first kiss with a girl named Beverly; the drive to your first job in that blue convertible; the last raucous camping/canoeing trip with your Dad and brothers; holding your first born, and hugging him 25 years later. My highlight reel has an audio track too with Earth Wind & Fire's 'September' cranked way up.
You understand.
Which is why you'll appreciate my powerful, two-hour highlight from February 26, 2010 when Mrs. DeShon, in her 40th year teaching 1st grade, and Izzy Idonije, defensive end for the Chicago Bears, teamed up because one was named Teacher of the Month by a local university, and the other came to Our Lady of Destiny grade school as part of her celebration.
CLOSING
Thinking of the many gifts Mrs. DeShon brought to blossoming scholars and their families across four decades has me remember my beloved highschool history teacher, E.J. Barry. He also taught English, directed plays, and coached hockey. Emmett's middle name, Joseph, has him carry Mr. Barry's initials ...,my guy.
I remember teachers who have imprinted my sons: Matthew's Mrs. Berkowitz and Peter's Mrs. Grabo and Emmett's Mrs. Blanchard and Liam's Miss Holdernesse.... All generous heroes like Izzy and Mr. Grindey, Mrs. McCaskey and Mrs. DeShon.
OPENING
Sometimes I replay my Highlights of Stephen's Life that I store in my long term memory. You probably do this too, with your version of the little trophy you got as the highest goal scorer when you were 10; that first kiss with a girl named Beverly; the drive to your first job in that blue convertible; the last raucous camping/canoeing trip with your Dad and brothers; holding your first born, and hugging him 25 years later. My highlight reel has an audio track too with Earth Wind & Fire's 'September' cranked way up.
You understand.
Which is why you'll appreciate my powerful, two-hour highlight from February 26, 2010 when Mrs. DeShon, in her 40th year teaching 1st grade, and Izzy Idonije, defensive end for the Chicago Bears, teamed up because one was named Teacher of the Month by a local university, and the other came to Our Lady of Destiny grade school as part of her celebration.
CLOSING
Thinking of the many gifts Mrs. DeShon brought to blossoming scholars and their families across four decades has me remember my beloved highschool history teacher, E.J. Barry. He also taught English, directed plays, and coached hockey. Emmett's middle name, Joseph, has him carry Mr. Barry's initials ...,my guy.
I remember teachers who have imprinted my sons: Matthew's Mrs. Berkowitz and Peter's Mrs. Grabo and Emmett's Mrs. Blanchard and Liam's Miss Holdernesse.... All generous heroes like Izzy and Mr. Grindey, Mrs. McCaskey and Mrs. DeShon.
Chapter 9 - Gladys Holm, Children's Memorial & teddy bears
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
Every time we speak of Miss Gladys and her generosities, my youngest sons - Emmett,9 and Liam, 6 - say that the best gift she gave was listening. Which says a lot, considering she left millions of dollars to help sick children.
The first time I met Gladys Holm was in an August 1997 New York Times article. You might have read it too: 'Teddy Bear Lady' Gave Her Heart, Plus 18 Million. It tells us that the smiling, smartly-dressed Gladys in the photo "turned small opportunities into a giant legacy to a hospital." ...
As a retiree, Gladys would distribute plush teddy bears to kids at Children's Memorial Hospital and, voila, their parents' financial worries would disappear. In her will she left the largest gift that hospital had received up until then. The largest before that was $10 million from Ray Kroc who built his first McDonald's about 10 blocks from our Des Plaines, IL home.
CLOSING
Each of us said a few words of thanks to Aunt Gladys then took the short drive to circle Gladys's block in our chili pepper red Saturn SUV. We liked that Gladys had lived across from a large park filled with families. Then off we went to lunch at the restaurant near the cemetery, the one where folks went to speak of the good times after Gladys's burial 15 years before....
"Humble," said Emmett. "Aunt Gladys was humble."
Best of all, the listener and giver who grew up on a Christmas tree farm is buried right next to a large fir tree.
OPENING
Every time we speak of Miss Gladys and her generosities, my youngest sons - Emmett,9 and Liam, 6 - say that the best gift she gave was listening. Which says a lot, considering she left millions of dollars to help sick children.
The first time I met Gladys Holm was in an August 1997 New York Times article. You might have read it too: 'Teddy Bear Lady' Gave Her Heart, Plus 18 Million. It tells us that the smiling, smartly-dressed Gladys in the photo "turned small opportunities into a giant legacy to a hospital." ...
As a retiree, Gladys would distribute plush teddy bears to kids at Children's Memorial Hospital and, voila, their parents' financial worries would disappear. In her will she left the largest gift that hospital had received up until then. The largest before that was $10 million from Ray Kroc who built his first McDonald's about 10 blocks from our Des Plaines, IL home.
CLOSING
Each of us said a few words of thanks to Aunt Gladys then took the short drive to circle Gladys's block in our chili pepper red Saturn SUV. We liked that Gladys had lived across from a large park filled with families. Then off we went to lunch at the restaurant near the cemetery, the one where folks went to speak of the good times after Gladys's burial 15 years before....
"Humble," said Emmett. "Aunt Gladys was humble."
Best of all, the listener and giver who grew up on a Christmas tree farm is buried right next to a large fir tree.
AFTERWORD - Dave Hilliard, CEO, Wyman Center
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
by Dave Hilliard, President & CEO, Wyman Center in St. Louis and The Wyman National Network
Having the last word on a storyteller like Stephen Kahnert is an opportunity not to be missed. So, here it is: our always-bold storyteller is himself a paragon of that which he chronicles.
I know this because he has been both a friend and professional colleague since arriving some 20 years ago as the consulting partner of a firm we'd hired to resuscitate a flagging capital campaign ...[Stephen's] gifts to us were belief in people, and the potential of what might be when visionary leadership and caring, competent people with generous hearts are set free. He taught, coached, inspired, motivated, planned and persisted in service to a mission that became his as much as ours...
As I read through the life stories in these chapters, I've been musing on a few of the big questions about the nature of generosity ... And here's what I believe: we all have the capacity for generosity but its release requires cultivation and ignition... One of the most generous and happiest men I have ever known is Charlie Wells, a learning disabled maintenance man at Camp Wyman for 30 years ...
I believe Mrs. DeShon, Joan Southgate and Charlie Wells became Grand Masters of Generosity; it wasn't a character value but the spirit animating their lives.
In this collection, Stephen has presented us role models, a 'storied' approach to our spiritual selves, and a means toward mastery. I say let's practice, practice, practice. We and our world will be better for it.
by Dave Hilliard, President & CEO, Wyman Center in St. Louis and The Wyman National Network
Having the last word on a storyteller like Stephen Kahnert is an opportunity not to be missed. So, here it is: our always-bold storyteller is himself a paragon of that which he chronicles.
I know this because he has been both a friend and professional colleague since arriving some 20 years ago as the consulting partner of a firm we'd hired to resuscitate a flagging capital campaign ...[Stephen's] gifts to us were belief in people, and the potential of what might be when visionary leadership and caring, competent people with generous hearts are set free. He taught, coached, inspired, motivated, planned and persisted in service to a mission that became his as much as ours...
As I read through the life stories in these chapters, I've been musing on a few of the big questions about the nature of generosity ... And here's what I believe: we all have the capacity for generosity but its release requires cultivation and ignition... One of the most generous and happiest men I have ever known is Charlie Wells, a learning disabled maintenance man at Camp Wyman for 30 years ...
I believe Mrs. DeShon, Joan Southgate and Charlie Wells became Grand Masters of Generosity; it wasn't a character value but the spirit animating their lives.
In this collection, Stephen has presented us role models, a 'storied' approach to our spiritual selves, and a means toward mastery. I say let's practice, practice, practice. We and our world will be better for it.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Chapter 8 - Norma & Bobby Benson EJ&E Railroad
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
When I first met Norma she was merely four numbers, the first three totaling $79 and the fourth $1.3 million. As tickled as my new colleagues were by Norma Benson's stunning estate gift to our social services agency, no one knew her. No one. Her database information was sparse: an address, husband Bobby, who pre-deceased her, and three small donations, the most recent 25 years earlier.
I know there are bushels of thoughtful individuals among us, going about their lives with empathy and skill, generosity and heart, largely unaware of the impact their gracious acts have, almost invisible in our world.
So, I set out to make visible this unassuming couple who lived on Glenwood Avenue in Joliet, Illinois. Seven years later, I introduce to you Norma and Bobby Benson, at rest side-by-side with, yes, railway tracks running nearby. And not just any railway tracks alongside Elmhurst Cemetery. It's the Elgin, Joliet & Eastern railway, the EJ&E, the railway they both worked for and loved.
CLOSING
Our city of Des Plaines has three railway tracks criss-crossing roads with nary an overpass. (A pin you can buy at our Historical Society, led for decades by the singular Joy Matthiessen, reads 'Blame it on the trains',) So I was hopeful that the tracks two blocks from our home would be Norma and Bobby's EJ&E. Nope, they're Ralph's MCRR.
Still, I believe we have terrific connections to Norma and Bobby at the end of our block. The street on our side of the tracks is named Grace which will be a great title for a column on generosity if the J-Milepost is ever resurrected.
OPENING
When I first met Norma she was merely four numbers, the first three totaling $79 and the fourth $1.3 million. As tickled as my new colleagues were by Norma Benson's stunning estate gift to our social services agency, no one knew her. No one. Her database information was sparse: an address, husband Bobby, who pre-deceased her, and three small donations, the most recent 25 years earlier.
I know there are bushels of thoughtful individuals among us, going about their lives with empathy and skill, generosity and heart, largely unaware of the impact their gracious acts have, almost invisible in our world.
So, I set out to make visible this unassuming couple who lived on Glenwood Avenue in Joliet, Illinois. Seven years later, I introduce to you Norma and Bobby Benson, at rest side-by-side with, yes, railway tracks running nearby. And not just any railway tracks alongside Elmhurst Cemetery. It's the Elgin, Joliet & Eastern railway, the EJ&E, the railway they both worked for and loved.
CLOSING
Our city of Des Plaines has three railway tracks criss-crossing roads with nary an overpass. (A pin you can buy at our Historical Society, led for decades by the singular Joy Matthiessen, reads 'Blame it on the trains',) So I was hopeful that the tracks two blocks from our home would be Norma and Bobby's EJ&E. Nope, they're Ralph's MCRR.
Still, I believe we have terrific connections to Norma and Bobby at the end of our block. The street on our side of the tracks is named Grace which will be a great title for a column on generosity if the J-Milepost is ever resurrected.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Chapter 7 - Sister Mary Augusta's mission
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
Looking back, I realize I wrote my letter of appreciation to the nuns who've touched my life just a few weeks before 9/11. This is what I wrote ...
"Our all-boys school, Brebeuf Jesuit, was near the all-girls school St. Joseph Morrow Park. In our final year, some of us wanted to continue Latin, and a few of them wanted to take physics. So it came to pass that we crossed Bayview Avenue for one co-ed class per day.
"The ever-smiling Sister Mary Augusta was just under five feet tall. For us, she agreed to unretire for one final year of retracing Caesar's steps through Gaul and Horace's steps through a full life. And, among the 15 Latin students, I was the fortunate one to be assigned the desk immediately in front of Sister Mary Augusta's. Touching hers, in fact. To my query, she would just smile that beautiful smile of hers and insist that I already knew why."
CLOSING
My Sister Mary Augusta is buried north of Toronto in Holy Cross Cemetery, just across the way from where my parents rest. Her simple headstone reads:
Sister Mary Augusta C.S.J.
Murphy
June 29, 1980
Me, I would have added an exclamation point to her name.
OPENING
Looking back, I realize I wrote my letter of appreciation to the nuns who've touched my life just a few weeks before 9/11. This is what I wrote ...
"Our all-boys school, Brebeuf Jesuit, was near the all-girls school St. Joseph Morrow Park. In our final year, some of us wanted to continue Latin, and a few of them wanted to take physics. So it came to pass that we crossed Bayview Avenue for one co-ed class per day.
"The ever-smiling Sister Mary Augusta was just under five feet tall. For us, she agreed to unretire for one final year of retracing Caesar's steps through Gaul and Horace's steps through a full life. And, among the 15 Latin students, I was the fortunate one to be assigned the desk immediately in front of Sister Mary Augusta's. Touching hers, in fact. To my query, she would just smile that beautiful smile of hers and insist that I already knew why."
CLOSING
My Sister Mary Augusta is buried north of Toronto in Holy Cross Cemetery, just across the way from where my parents rest. Her simple headstone reads:
Sister Mary Augusta C.S.J.
Murphy
June 29, 1980
Me, I would have added an exclamation point to her name.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Chapter 6 - Miss Ola's Diplomas
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
Chicago's grid system of alphabetically-ordered streets is one of this area's best assets. For example, you can drive east from our house into Edison Park along, say, Touhy knowing that Oleander is next to Olcott which is next to Osceola.
You should know that my secret desire, every time we take that drive to Sheila's cousins' home, is to stop and tape a small photo over the letter 'C' so that it reads OSEOLA. I know, I know, there are rules against that.
Still, that's how I'd like to honor Miss Oseola McCarty one day. With a photo of her smiling, lined face transforming the street named for a great Seminole Chief into one honoring an elderly black laundry lady.
CLOSING
Ted Turner was interviewed around the time of his [$1 billion] gift to the UN, telling Larry King: "You have to learn to give. You're not born to give. You're born selfish."
Perhaps one of his mentors was Miss Ola who said this in a story published by [University of Southern Mississippi] as her donation was announced: "I can't do everything ... but I can do something to help somebody. And what I can do I will do. I wish I could do more."
In truth, Miss Ola is The Gift.
OPENING
Chicago's grid system of alphabetically-ordered streets is one of this area's best assets. For example, you can drive east from our house into Edison Park along, say, Touhy knowing that Oleander is next to Olcott which is next to Osceola.
You should know that my secret desire, every time we take that drive to Sheila's cousins' home, is to stop and tape a small photo over the letter 'C' so that it reads OSEOLA. I know, I know, there are rules against that.
Still, that's how I'd like to honor Miss Oseola McCarty one day. With a photo of her smiling, lined face transforming the street named for a great Seminole Chief into one honoring an elderly black laundry lady.
CLOSING
Ted Turner was interviewed around the time of his [$1 billion] gift to the UN, telling Larry King: "You have to learn to give. You're not born to give. You're born selfish."
Perhaps one of his mentors was Miss Ola who said this in a story published by [University of Southern Mississippi] as her donation was announced: "I can't do everything ... but I can do something to help somebody. And what I can do I will do. I wish I could do more."
In truth, Miss Ola is The Gift.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Chapter 5 - Capt. Dale Noyd & his comrades
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered.
OPENING
My Mom, Rita Margaret Ena Maria - she of the gorgeous smile and feisty spirit - taught me to appreciate well-written obituaries as an excellent way to meet interesting people. Which is how Capt. Dale Noyd, USAF, came into my life along with the many generosities that followed him during and after his court martial.
His New York Times obit was entitled - Dale Noyd 1933-2007 Pilot Objected to Vitenam War. And something his son, Erik, said made me put Dale's obituary in a folder with 15 or so others I hold onto. He said "[Dad] kept two certificates on the wall of his study ... One was his commendation for heroism, the other his dishonorable discharge" .....
I've grown to appreciate integrity and honor wherever they're found. Maybe you'd be as intrigued as I was that an officer would frame both his commendation and his dishonorable discharge and hang them side-by-side like equal honors.
CLOSING
... At Dale's sentencing they allowed testimony about his humanism "and the panel leaned forward and listened, obviously affected" recalled Charlotte [Doyle, psychology professor, Sarah Lawrence University]. "It was one of the most amazing events of my life." Capt. Noyd could have been sentenced to five years but he was given the minimum, one year.
In a way, a way that a psychology professor like Dale might appreciate, the officers on his court martial panel could also be numbered among his generous comrades.
OPENING
My Mom, Rita Margaret Ena Maria - she of the gorgeous smile and feisty spirit - taught me to appreciate well-written obituaries as an excellent way to meet interesting people. Which is how Capt. Dale Noyd, USAF, came into my life along with the many generosities that followed him during and after his court martial.
His New York Times obit was entitled - Dale Noyd 1933-2007 Pilot Objected to Vitenam War. And something his son, Erik, said made me put Dale's obituary in a folder with 15 or so others I hold onto. He said "[Dad] kept two certificates on the wall of his study ... One was his commendation for heroism, the other his dishonorable discharge" .....
I've grown to appreciate integrity and honor wherever they're found. Maybe you'd be as intrigued as I was that an officer would frame both his commendation and his dishonorable discharge and hang them side-by-side like equal honors.
CLOSING
... At Dale's sentencing they allowed testimony about his humanism "and the panel leaned forward and listened, obviously affected" recalled Charlotte [Doyle, psychology professor, Sarah Lawrence University]. "It was one of the most amazing events of my life." Capt. Noyd could have been sentenced to five years but he was given the minimum, one year.
In a way, a way that a psychology professor like Dale might appreciate, the officers on his court martial panel could also be numbered among his generous comrades.
FOREWORD - Alice Hayes, Pres. U San Diego (ret)
Genrozt: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING by Dr. Alice Hayes, President, University of San Diego (ret)
A city becomes a community when it can offer such amenities as a library, a school, a park, a church, an art museum. a hospital and perhaps a parade or two. Although some of these may have been built with tax revenues, most of these assets are provided to the community as gifts - some from the wealth of great philanthropists, others from the profits of a local corporation.
This book tells other stories, though, stories about people who changed lives in very quiet, unpretentious ways ...
There is nothing ordinary about the ordinary people in these tales. The author, Stephen Kahnert, has captured that with surprisingly rounded views of his subjects, presenting them with the warmth of personal friendship.
CLOSING
This is a book that will provide valuable insights for those seeking to understand the motivations and methods of those who contribute to their causes. I expect this book will be found on the desks of fundraisers and public relations offices, college presidents and their many volunteer leaders ...
But I suspect GENROZT will have an even wider audience, those of us who want to understand better the human heart and the influence of personal commitments on the growth of communities ...
OPENING by Dr. Alice Hayes, President, University of San Diego (ret)
A city becomes a community when it can offer such amenities as a library, a school, a park, a church, an art museum. a hospital and perhaps a parade or two. Although some of these may have been built with tax revenues, most of these assets are provided to the community as gifts - some from the wealth of great philanthropists, others from the profits of a local corporation.
This book tells other stories, though, stories about people who changed lives in very quiet, unpretentious ways ...
There is nothing ordinary about the ordinary people in these tales. The author, Stephen Kahnert, has captured that with surprisingly rounded views of his subjects, presenting them with the warmth of personal friendship.
CLOSING
This is a book that will provide valuable insights for those seeking to understand the motivations and methods of those who contribute to their causes. I expect this book will be found on the desks of fundraisers and public relations offices, college presidents and their many volunteer leaders ...
But I suspect GENROZT will have an even wider audience, those of us who want to understand better the human heart and the influence of personal commitments on the growth of communities ...
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Chapter 4 - Joel Eastham and Louise Ralph & the house
Genrozt: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
Sometimes when Louise Ralph turns into her long driveway she remembers a station wagon jammed with kids stuck in the blowing snow, maybe halfway to the large, white house. Then she smiles. Every time.
When my friend Joanie heard about this book and about simple, powerful generosities she told me I absolutely had to talk with her Mom. Which is how Emmett, Liam and I visited Louise in Springfield, Illinois last summer and learned how Joel's house chose the large Ralph family almost forty winters ago.
CLOSING
Before we left Louise last July, we took a few photos to remember her smile and the house linking two families, and the tangible proof that easy generosities are all around us. For the wide shot of the house, Emmett and Liam walked with me down the yard while Louise sat on the top step at the front of her house.
I think of Joel's house as a very real player in the Eastham and Ralph story.
I imagine it watching in hopefulness for Louise's family that winter day, watching for a family of eleven. The exact number of big front windows still framing Louise on her porch.
OPENING
Sometimes when Louise Ralph turns into her long driveway she remembers a station wagon jammed with kids stuck in the blowing snow, maybe halfway to the large, white house. Then she smiles. Every time.
When my friend Joanie heard about this book and about simple, powerful generosities she told me I absolutely had to talk with her Mom. Which is how Emmett, Liam and I visited Louise in Springfield, Illinois last summer and learned how Joel's house chose the large Ralph family almost forty winters ago.
CLOSING
Before we left Louise last July, we took a few photos to remember her smile and the house linking two families, and the tangible proof that easy generosities are all around us. For the wide shot of the house, Emmett and Liam walked with me down the yard while Louise sat on the top step at the front of her house.
I think of Joel's house as a very real player in the Eastham and Ralph story.
I imagine it watching in hopefulness for Louise's family that winter day, watching for a family of eleven. The exact number of big front windows still framing Louise on her porch.
Friday, October 12, 2012
"As we begin ..." my introduction to GENROZT
The story of how my parents got son #8 is as good a place as any for me to start these memories of generosities.
I am the second oldest of seven sons born to Rita (Daly) and Bill Kahnert. Mom had five brothers and five sisters and she often told us of the conversation about family size she and Dad had after their April 1945 wedding at Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Toronto. Dad had one brother. "Well, average size," said Rita.
And so they had seven sons born to them - Thomas, Stephen, Patrick, Vincent, Peter, John, and Joseph. Along the way, friends would come through our back hall strewn with hockey sticks and coats ("Can't you boys straighten out this mess!!") and down to our basement to listen to music, to tell tales, and to chat with Mom in her laundry room. Rita was a terrific listener of guys.
And Bill listened to Rita's heart, which is how we got our brother #8, Mike, who was one of Vince's best friends since kindergarten. (Every family has a VinceNation - the one who stays in touch with dozens of friends as the years roll by.)
Mike tells the story of how Mom appeared at his home the day of his Dad's funeral - his Mom had died young a few years before - and hugged him, saying "Well, Mike, now you belong to us."
At long last I've arrived at a definition of GENROZT, the word that greets me daily on my Illinois license plate: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered. Like beauty, GENROZT is in the eyes of the beholder.
As you read these chapters, think about your own GENROZT story and how you can enrich our world by telling it to someone. Soon.
I am the second oldest of seven sons born to Rita (Daly) and Bill Kahnert. Mom had five brothers and five sisters and she often told us of the conversation about family size she and Dad had after their April 1945 wedding at Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Toronto. Dad had one brother. "Well, average size," said Rita.
And so they had seven sons born to them - Thomas, Stephen, Patrick, Vincent, Peter, John, and Joseph. Along the way, friends would come through our back hall strewn with hockey sticks and coats ("Can't you boys straighten out this mess!!") and down to our basement to listen to music, to tell tales, and to chat with Mom in her laundry room. Rita was a terrific listener of guys.
And Bill listened to Rita's heart, which is how we got our brother #8, Mike, who was one of Vince's best friends since kindergarten. (Every family has a VinceNation - the one who stays in touch with dozens of friends as the years roll by.)
Mike tells the story of how Mom appeared at his home the day of his Dad's funeral - his Mom had died young a few years before - and hugged him, saying "Well, Mike, now you belong to us."
At long last I've arrived at a definition of GENROZT, the word that greets me daily on my Illinois license plate: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered. Like beauty, GENROZT is in the eyes of the beholder.
As you read these chapters, think about your own GENROZT story and how you can enrich our world by telling it to someone. Soon.
Chapter 3 - Gordie Howe's hug, Detroit Red Wings #9
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
There are many examples of generosity in my first-floor room dedicated to all things hockey. It's just off the living room and holds Sheila's piano, our elliptical exercise machine (hey, I could be called up to the Red Wings any day now), and 102 posters, photos, drawings, action figures, tabletop hockey game, and a 6' Abraham Lincoln in goalie equipment. More on him later.
They all warm me and some bring tears to my eyes. But the one that I cherish most is the photo of my eldest son, then-seven year old Matthew, in his hockey sweater next to a smiling, well-dressed grandfather, Gordie Howe.
CLOSING
Among the 102 mementos in my first-floor room is a photo of Howe and [Johnny] Bower reading "Scores again. Gordon Howe". It hangs next to the photo of a smiling, well-dressed grandfather and an elated boy in his light blue hockey sweater.
Gordie's elbows are down.
OPENING
There are many examples of generosity in my first-floor room dedicated to all things hockey. It's just off the living room and holds Sheila's piano, our elliptical exercise machine (hey, I could be called up to the Red Wings any day now), and 102 posters, photos, drawings, action figures, tabletop hockey game, and a 6' Abraham Lincoln in goalie equipment. More on him later.
They all warm me and some bring tears to my eyes. But the one that I cherish most is the photo of my eldest son, then-seven year old Matthew, in his hockey sweater next to a smiling, well-dressed grandfather, Gordie Howe.
CLOSING
Among the 102 mementos in my first-floor room is a photo of Howe and [Johnny] Bower reading "Scores again. Gordon Howe". It hangs next to the photo of a smiling, well-dressed grandfather and an elated boy in his light blue hockey sweater.
Gordie's elbows are down.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Chapter 2 - Joan Southgate & Restore Cleveland Hope
GENROZT - a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
It's not often a middle-aged white guy gets to fall in love with a 72 year-old black grandmother. I'm the white guy; she is Joan Evelyn Southgate.
Our short story is this: on a sunny spring afternoon in 2002, son #2 Peter and I met up with the singular Joan Evelyn on her 519-mile walk - 10 miles per day, sleeping in stranger's homes - following the Underground Railroad (URR) path from Kentucky to Canada with a mission to change our world.
But it's the long version you'll want to hear.
CLOSING
On a recent summer afternoon, Peter - a rising junior at The Ohio State University - and I rolled up to Joan's house with Emmett and son #4 Liam, in tow. After a meal surrounded by those dining room quotes, we strolled through the cultural gardens, up the hills Joan used to train for her walk, and then back to Joan's kitchen table.
"What I still can't quite grasp is that ten years later something is still happening," she began. "I thought I was on a journey that had a beginning and an end ... but it never stopped!" One of her fondest memories of a decade back is being greeted by that gym filled with children wearing a photo of her. And there at Joan's kitchen table Peter, now six-foot-three, just smiled and smiled.
OPENING
It's not often a middle-aged white guy gets to fall in love with a 72 year-old black grandmother. I'm the white guy; she is Joan Evelyn Southgate.
Our short story is this: on a sunny spring afternoon in 2002, son #2 Peter and I met up with the singular Joan Evelyn on her 519-mile walk - 10 miles per day, sleeping in stranger's homes - following the Underground Railroad (URR) path from Kentucky to Canada with a mission to change our world.
But it's the long version you'll want to hear.
CLOSING
On a recent summer afternoon, Peter - a rising junior at The Ohio State University - and I rolled up to Joan's house with Emmett and son #4 Liam, in tow. After a meal surrounded by those dining room quotes, we strolled through the cultural gardens, up the hills Joan used to train for her walk, and then back to Joan's kitchen table.
"What I still can't quite grasp is that ten years later something is still happening," she began. "I thought I was on a journey that had a beginning and an end ... but it never stopped!" One of her fondest memories of a decade back is being greeted by that gym filled with children wearing a photo of her. And there at Joan's kitchen table Peter, now six-foot-three, just smiled and smiled.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Chapter 1 - Tom Patterson, Stratford Festival
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered
OPENING
William Shakespeare had a lot to do with getting me my greatest summer job ever - editor of the weekly Grand Bend Times, the summer of 1970, the summer before my third year in Honours (sic) English Language & Literature at St. Michael's College, and the 18th summer of Tom Patterson's great creation, Stratford's Shakespearean Festival, just 90 miles west of our Toronto home.
You really should know about the man who got me that job. About the generosities that influenced his life. And his second letter to me....
CLOSING
Director Tyrone Guthrie is quoted in Reknown in Stratford: "He had no great influence to back him, no great reputation, no great fortune. Most of us similarly placed abandon our Great Ideas, write them off as Daydreams, and settled for something less exciting and more practicable. Not so Mr. Patterson. His perseverance was indomitable."
Will's Troilus and Cressida described that virtue when he had Ulysses affirm to Achilles: "Perseverance, my lord, keeps honour bright."
I never recall my generous, tenacious friend without a joyful ache. Every time.
OPENING
William Shakespeare had a lot to do with getting me my greatest summer job ever - editor of the weekly Grand Bend Times, the summer of 1970, the summer before my third year in Honours (sic) English Language & Literature at St. Michael's College, and the 18th summer of Tom Patterson's great creation, Stratford's Shakespearean Festival, just 90 miles west of our Toronto home.
You really should know about the man who got me that job. About the generosities that influenced his life. And his second letter to me....
CLOSING
Director Tyrone Guthrie is quoted in Reknown in Stratford: "He had no great influence to back him, no great reputation, no great fortune. Most of us similarly placed abandon our Great Ideas, write them off as Daydreams, and settled for something less exciting and more practicable. Not so Mr. Patterson. His perseverance was indomitable."
Will's Troilus and Cressida described that virtue when he had Ulysses affirm to Achilles: "Perseverance, my lord, keeps honour bright."
I never recall my generous, tenacious friend without a joyful ache. Every time.
my book on generosities almost done!
Well, the better part of the last two years' writing is almost done, as I finish the research on the last of my 10 chapters. Looks like I'll have generosity-GENROZT e-published before Thanksgiving and available on Amazon.com. (If the Mayan calendar is right about The End of Us on 12.12.12 or is it 12.21.12, I figure we'll all go out the happier for reading GENROZT first. Promise.)
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered.
There's a chapter on the guy who helped me land my best-ever summer job, Tom Patterson, the founder of Stratford's Shakespearean Festival. Another is about the morning son #1 and I met up with Detroit Red Wings great, Gordie Howe. Another tells about Joan Evelyn Southgate, founder of Restore Cleveland Hope, and how I fell in love with her (not to worry...Sheila understands.)
Each chapter ends with a few memories of generosity written by grade school schoolmates of sons #3 and #4 - Emmett & Liam. I told the students to think of people with great hearts:
"What is generosity to me? That is easy. My neighbor, Mr. Harold. When I was 7 months old my father died. My Mom was always scared and was crying. But soon my neighbor, Mr. Harold, was there to help. But Mr. Harold is blind. He could still help my Mom though. He would do things like put salt on our sidewalk ice, shovel our driveway, come every day and just give Mom a hug. It would make her smile. His wife would always make me lemon cookies to cheer me up. I hope Mr. Harold and his wife stay healthy and live long."
Nicole P. - 5th grade
.
GENROZT: a gracious act that creates a joyful ache every time it is remembered.
There's a chapter on the guy who helped me land my best-ever summer job, Tom Patterson, the founder of Stratford's Shakespearean Festival. Another is about the morning son #1 and I met up with Detroit Red Wings great, Gordie Howe. Another tells about Joan Evelyn Southgate, founder of Restore Cleveland Hope, and how I fell in love with her (not to worry...Sheila understands.)
Each chapter ends with a few memories of generosity written by grade school schoolmates of sons #3 and #4 - Emmett & Liam. I told the students to think of people with great hearts:
"What is generosity to me? That is easy. My neighbor, Mr. Harold. When I was 7 months old my father died. My Mom was always scared and was crying. But soon my neighbor, Mr. Harold, was there to help. But Mr. Harold is blind. He could still help my Mom though. He would do things like put salt on our sidewalk ice, shovel our driveway, come every day and just give Mom a hug. It would make her smile. His wife would always make me lemon cookies to cheer me up. I hope Mr. Harold and his wife stay healthy and live long."
Nicole P. - 5th grade
.
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